This is go time for women, as we collectively rock politics, medicine, education, the arts, and business with our women-strong wisdom, compassion and collaboration.
But women can’t become a truly unstoppable force for good unless we shake off an old shadow that holds us back: how harsh we can be to one another.
Who among us hasn’t suffered the sting of a woman’s snarky comment or workplace sabotage? Or experienced the ickiness of mean-girl shunning or lie-spreading?
Women heap an avalanche of abuse, discrimination and incivility on one another, from the boardroom to athletic clubs. As I work on a book about this topic, I read about a woman who said the “cool” women in her yoga class often shunned her, made snide comments and even ridiculed her yoga clothes. Big, downward, sad-faced dog.
Come on, women! We deserve better than this. We are better than this.
There’s too much progress to be gained right now for women to regress into mean, middle-school girls — especially as the world’s girls watch and model our every move.
“There’s a Wonder Woman inside every one of us,” as Diane Von Furstenberg has said. Let’s unleash her this year—to better support one another. To help our sisters, from Africa to Asia, realize long-overdue healthcare, safe water, jobs, and literacy.
To lean into the toughest conflicts around the Earth. To stop turning against and fighting with each other.
We can’t afford to fall back into outdated, destructive ways: when we hold one woman back, we hold all women back. And when we empower and support each other, we all go big. The world is calling for us to go big!
Here are seven steps for unleashing your inner Wonder Woman:
1. Shine a light on the shadows. There isn’t a big enough rug in the world under which this secret can be swept. Whether you’re a mom’s group member or an HR director, begin to end this problem by having a candid and hopefully game-changing conversation about it. Granted, this is as about as fun as having a botched root canal. But, like healing any wound, once this “taboo” topic is aired and out in the open, real change can happen.
2. Live from your own incredible worth. Express your own brilliance — don’t block someone else’s. Be an amazing woman. Unleash her now. To do good. To raise the roof. To be kind. To change the world. Be a superstar yourself, and you won’t feel the need to tarnish another’s star. As Bindu, an Indian actress popular in the 1970s said, “Women who understand how powerful they are do not give into envy over meaningless things; instead they fight to maintain the beautiful bond of the sisterhood. These are the real women who know that we need each other’s love and support to survive in this world.”
3. Advocate for zero tolerance. Our workplaces, health, and economy are drained by something we’ve avoided, pretended doesn’t exist, or justified. From coffee groups to conference rooms, stop tolerating abusive talk and behavior among women. If you’re a manager or leader, enforce anti-bullying policies. Retrain or remove workplace bullies, both men and women. If you’re being bullied, document the abuse, report it, and be clear about how you want to be treated. If you witness bullying, don’t hide the truth to keep the peace. And if you’re a bully, seriously, why? Learn how to exercise real power to have authentic friendships and respectful colleagues, not ones that loathe your presence.
4. Be a Wonder Woman with your wise words. Kudos to Reese Witherspoon, who asked: “Why do we have to tear other woman down to build another woman up?” And to author Elizabeth Gilbert, who recently posted herself on Facebook holding up a note: “DEAR WOMEN – BE KIND TO OTHER WOMEN! LOVE, A WOMAN.” Look, of course, we don’t have to agree with every woman. But we can stop trash talking about women’s appearances, parenting, or successes. Gossiping and snarky talk can be addictive and pass the time in a boring day. But they’re destructive. Find a legit feel-good fix. Find new friends, if necessary. Find your integrity.
5. Tune out media that glorify mean-women pile-ons. Let’s all stop feeding the media that glorify women being mean to other women. Cheers for Jennifer Lawrence’s candor: “When I watch these shows and I watch these women on these television shows pointing to [other] women and judging them and calling them ugly and calling them fat — where are we from? Why are we here? Why are we doing this to each other? Men were doing it hundreds of years ago, and now we’ve turned around and we’re doing it to each other.”
6. Applaud a woman’s success. Some women I’ve interviewed say they’re scared to share their successes with other women for fear they’ll be bludgeoned with their own victories. That’s insane. Don’t hold a woman’s gifts against her. An anonymous person once said, “Jealously is when you count someone else’s blessings instead of your own.” If one woman soars, it doesn’t mean your wings are clipped, or that there’s limited air space. We all came here to fly—fly far!
7. Even Wonder Woman has to rest. These work harder/faster times can shred us, making it all too easy to turn on one another. Slow down, breathe, and nurture yourself, if only for 30 minutes. It’s soul-crushingly tough enough to get through some days. Do we have to make it harder by crushing each other’s dreams and dignity? When we’re more rested, it’s easier to give a big thumbs-up to a woman’s ideas at work. Or hold the door open for a mom struggling with a stroller. And cheer for a sister on fire with her creation, whether it’s a painting or a product.
Actress Lynda Carter, who played the original Wonder Woman, said, “Wonder Woman belongs to us all. She lives inside us. She’s the symbol of the extraordinary possibilities that inhabit us, hidden though they may be.
“Perhaps our real challenge in the 21st century is to strive to reach our potential while embracing her values. She sees the good in everyone, convinced they are capable of change, compassion, and generosity. She’s kindhearted and hopeful, and she has a great sense of humor.”
Can you hear my Wonder Woman cheering for yours?
Come on ladies, I know you have some good stuff to share, somebody is waiting for you. Listen you are doing what your doing or your doing good things with good people and in a good space right now because someone is praying for you, gets give that back, pay it forward because you never know how your words can change something in somebody.. lets share
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It true what they say, life is truly what you make it and all the experiences lessons and journeys are made up of choices. The choices you make become your life, whether you chose to put one foot in front of the other, or not at all, the road you choose is the choice you made and that is the sum of your life.
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Hello my wonderful women of the world. I want to share how much I love and believe in you, I am you and you are me. Here is something that I absolutely love and want to be apart of, check it out
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It’s important to stay focus and to have a plan because you never know how fast things change, from day to day minute to minute, Yes I am going through a very scary and challenging situation but this will end up the way it’s going to end up and I am still going to be just fine. Maybe you have to do some adjustments and have a little discomfort but keep your eye on the prize, you are the only person that can and will stop you if you’re not absolutely clear about this.
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Hey, ladies, I wanted to stop by and share some love with you all. At this time I am vigorously searching for environments where I can be most helpful, I hope you all are taking charge in your lives and doing what makes you fulfilled. I have a suggestion if you can take a tally of all the things you do to help others in a week and it is more than you have done for yourself than I believe you have got the point of serving others and will be blessed abundantly. Keep growing sisters and be great to yourselves
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So I want to share, do you know the importance of a positive and healthy attitude and outlooks? ok, let me explain, I promise you that if you can mustard up a small amount of appreciation and confidence the universe will pay you 10xs as much in turn. I am so into loving and knowing myself that I leave no other way to be dealt with, there are no other options because when others see how good you treat and feel about yourself they come correct or don’t come at all. No mistakes It has to become a learned behavior for those of us that has struggled with it but let me tell you when you finally get don’t you let it go… be good to you, and others will never have a choice…
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