Category Archives: One By One

LET’S BE CLEAR

When something or someone doesn’t work out the way we planned or hoped them to be, or even just not sure of the next step, doesn’t mean defeat, most likely that thing or that person deterred or re-routed the path you were on, and along the way that experience gave you exactly what you needed,  and now that your back you see exactly what you have learned, how you have changed or not, what you can or cannot, and who you are or are not. So no you weren’t defeated but more knowledgeable, closer to being sure of yourself that thing or whomever, knowing now the difference between defeat vs. deterred. I’ve learned that it can be really simple or we make it extremely difficult and it still doesn’t change the simplicity of the thing is truly what it is, that person is truly what they are, but the experience is always a profound asset to the collection of your experiences that constructs your life. So how can that be a failure or defeat, we gain all along believing we were failing or defeated, it’s simply not true.

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Its A Choice

What makes most of want to say hello when were walking by a stranger, what makes us hold the door for someone before we go ahead of them, what makes us want to be the best person we can be, what makes us sad when we see others hurt,  whats makes us let the guy with one container of milk ahead of in line, and what makes us go without so someone else can have. I ask myself these questions because I know and see the act of human decency every day, but still, we have deep hate in this world. How can we be good and kind to someone but hateful and disrespectful to others, are you making the choice not to be that person who is kind and loving to fellow man, or are you making a choice to be other than who you truly are, and not showing human kindness and decency. It is a choice and we all have the ability to be entirely good to our fellow man.

SO IN LOVE

I am so impressed and in love with Humanity, there is nothing more powerful than love it is the beginning the substance and the ending of all things, and I cannot ever get used to the way it transcends, transforms, and heals. Its reach is limitless and I cannot think of one thing in my life that the pure effects of love have not touched. I know that there are those that have yet to find their way or a way to fulfill their purpose to others, and are still struggling and lost with very little options, but there are also many many people that for the most part are making a point to be better and to make the world a better place, and I know and feel we are getting really close to doing that, I think that a lot of us want that for each other and there are people working toward that and are inspiring others to do the same, so yes, I believe in us changing the world it is possible and humanity is such a vital element in doing so, I have seen it, I can feel it and it is an amazing experience, it is powerful and transforming, and a beautiful thing to see, humanity is like having  a Magic wand and those that are touched are forever touched, and that brings about goodness in the world.

Ritual

When you take the mystery from your minds next move you free your life to boundless possibilities, I know I have said this before but it is a daily ritual to surrender to every opportunity and create the experience you desire. If you feed your mind with positive affirmations and choices directed towards succeeding at something in your day it becomes a habit, no matter how small the accomplishment is it ignites the fire that pushes you to want more. I think about the feeling I get when I succeed at something and it pleases me so much that I want more. I believe we all have that pure desire to please our soul and experience the genuine appreciation it gives in return, Find that gem within your day that hold that exhilarating recognition from your entire being, that is the essential ritual we have to incorporate in our day to day living so one day we will wake up and it will no longer be a practice but part of your existence in the world , and when you have mastered the art of internal bliss give it away to someone else.


How to Set Goals: 10 Steps to Stay Focused

I’m a corporate-sales professional turned writer and entrepreneur. Full Bio

 

For most people, creating goals is easy! The execution and application is the struggle. As Diana Scharf Hunt says, “Goals are just dreams with a deadline!” Everyone has dreams, but successful people turn them into goals that they accomplish. In order to ensure you reach the finish line with your goals achieved, here are 10 steps to help you move from dreamer to doer.

1. Utilize the SMART Goal Approach

We are what we repeatedly do. Excellence, therefore, is not an act but a habit. – Aristotle

SMART goals have been utilized for years, because they work. Make sure your goals are:

Specific:

A specific goal will usually answer the five Ws (What, Why, Who, Where, and Which). Writing specific objectives fleshes out your goal so you can easily identify what you want to accomplish.

Measurable:

If your goal isn’t measurable, there will be no way to know if you’re making progress. You need to address the question, “How will I know when this is accomplished?”

Attainable:

Your goal must be something that you can realistically attain. I would love to fly like a bird by jumping off a cliff with no parachute, but gravity would have the last word in that interaction. However, learning to jump off a cliff with a hang glider is more realistic.

Relevant:

If your goal doesn’t mean anything to you, then it isn’t worth pursuing. Tie your goals to your deeper values to give them more meaning. Make sure you are behind the goal 100% so you stay motivated to achieve it.

Time Bound:

You need to have a deadline. Otherwise it’s just a dream that never becomes reality. Putting down a deadline makes you more committed to bringing it to fruition.

2. Write your goals down and display them!

I hear and I forget; I see and I remember; I write and I understand.” – Chinese Proverb

A large portion of your goal is already accomplished as soon as you write it down. A study showed that among people who wrote down their goals with actionable commitments that they put into weekly progress reportsand shared with friends, 76% accomplished them. This is in comparison to a control group who were just asked to think about their goals. In this group, only 43% accomplished their objectives. Writing down your goals makes them real; they are tangible words on paper, not an ethereal dream in your mind.

3. Break big goals into smaller ones!

How do you eat an elephant? One bite at a time!”

It’s the same for big goals! Break them down into manageable weekly and daily actionable bites. If you don’t, you can sometimes lose motivation if the goal seems far away or too big to accomplish.

4. Make an action plan and follow it!

If you fail to plan, you are planning to fail!” – Benjamin Franklin

The best gift you can give yourself is a well thought-out action plan. Take time to organize all of your smaller daily and weekly goals in one place so you can easily check your progress or send it to others to hold you accountable.

5. Do your goals as early in the day as possible!

The sun has not caught me in bed in fifty years.” – Thomas Jefferson

If you study successful people, you will find that most of the time they do more before the sun rises than the rest of the world does in a day. Get your goals done first thing in the morning to feel like you’ve started your day right. That way, you will always find time to do them.

6. Tell others your goals to keep you accountable!

Accountability breeds response-ability.” – Steven R. Covey

When you know someone is going to check your progress, it lights a fire under you to follow through. Find a good friend or mentor who will take on the role of motivator and occasional butt-kicker. You will come to value this service immensely when you see your efficiency and effectiveness improve.

7. Make sure your goals excite you!

“If you want to live a happy life, tie it to a goal, not to people or things.” – Albert Einstein

Your goals should be a source of joy in your life. They should be one of the main reasons you get out of bed in the morning. If your goals don’t excite you, then you need to re-evaluate them.

8. Use positive language in your goals!

“The major reason for setting a goal is for what it makes of you to accomplish it. What it makes of you will always be the far greater value than what you get.” – Jim Rohn

Setting and accomplishing your goals changes you. You become a positive person who is more excited about life. Make sure your goals reflect this. Don’t say, “My goal is not to mess up today.” Instead your goal could say, “My goal is to excel today in my career by doing X, Y, and Z.” Do you see the language difference? No one can get passionate about going through the day trying to avoid something negative. Instead, turn it around so you spend your day chasing and catching success.

9. Set goals in multiple life areas!

“The greatest danger for most of us is not that our aim is too high and we miss it, but that it is too low and we reach it.” – Michelangelo

Don’t just reserve your goals for your career. You should challenge yourself to set fitness goals, finance goals, family goals, relationships goals, educational goals, spiritual goals, health goals, and adventure goals. Every area of your life that you value should have a goal to help you improve upon it.

10. Set performance vs. outcome goals!

“The ultimate reason for setting goals is to entice you to become the person it takes to achieve them.” – Jim Rohn

Many things are outside your control. For example, you may have an adventure goal to climb Mount Everest. You follow an action plan and train daily. You reach the moment when you are ready to ascend the mountain’s icy slopes with your team. Suddenly, a huge storm turns you back. The weather was out of your sphere of influence. You met all of your performance goals. Just because the outcome didn’t happen this time does not mean you failed. You were prepared. Life just happened and you weren’t able to climb the mountain – this time. However, regardless of the outcome, you became the person who could climb your mountain should life open the door. That’s the deeper endeavor. When you set your goals, don’t say, “My goal is to climb Mt. Everest by January 2014.” Instead, say, “My goal is to be completely prepared to climb Mt. Everest by January 2014, and to do all that is within my power to reach the top.” The first goal is only attainable if everything works in your favor. The second goal is completely attainable, as it depends solely on you.

“In the long run, men hit only what they aim at. Therefore, they had better aim at something high.” – Henry David Thoreau

So what are you aiming for? If your answer is nothing, then you probably won’t like what you get out of this life. Instead of simply drifting along reacting to what life brings you, take proactive steps to go out and create the future you want. While we can’t control everything that happens to us, we can control ourselves by following goals that bring out our passion for life.

Choices are Power

In a state of chronic sufferance, there are little to no choices, a prayer is quickly converted to a plea, a life of limitations and ignorance is an imprisonment and this is what we do to ourselves,  a life without choices is a life not worth living at all. When we are blessed with choices you hold the power to change your state of being to a positive and unfamiliar but liberating experience, but we have to make the choice that frees us one choice at a time. It is so important to know what we want because then we know what to ask for, there is power in having a choice because that one choice turns into an opportunity that can change your life. Search your heart and soul and ask what it wants from you and then choose to just do it, give yourself the choice and then create the opportunity to use it. Whatever it looks like do things to bring it forward in your life and it won’t be pretty in the beginning but the actions you take will groom it and create a beautiful opportunity, and what’s makes it beautiful is it’s just for you, take it and understand that it is your power.

Coffee Shop

images (92)Welcome, Welcome…

The Coffee Shop is a place where we as women under construction come together and build each other up. I know I cannot do this without you and we all need to be encourage to stay focused on our dreams and it’s difficult enough but being alone and not knowing what to do or what the next steps are impossibly difficult. I needed this when I was struggling to find myself, I knew I was ready to change but I didn’t have the tools to do so, here we will support one another and gain the tools necessary to move through our journeys to find what makes us uniquely perfect for the gifts God has given us. Any life stories of inspiration or life strategies that you have applied to bring you closer to your dream can be shared to help others to get to a place in their lives, or the challenges you need encouragement to overcome we are here. I know you know what I speak of when I say that the pain and imprisonment of the mind are real, and we have o shift our whole entire way of being to be able to begin living the life of abundance and happiness we were meant to have. Please share and encourage each other, one by one we will be free… I believe in you… start sharing some ideas and watch the magic happen.


  Hey Hey Hey Ladies,  I have put some things together,  browse through these wonderful ideas because it’s all about doing things that make us happy sometimes. It feels great to gather and join with other women and encourage each other to live an enjoyable life, Come On Jump In  What Do We Have To Lose!!!!!!!!!


THE BLOG

01/13/2015 05:21 pm ET | Updated Mar 15, 2015

7 Ways Women Can Lift Up, Not Tear Each Other Down

NISIAN HUGHES VIA GETTY IMAGES

This is go time for women, as we collectively rock politics, medicine, education, the arts, and business with our women-strong wisdom, compassion and collaboration.

But women can’t become a truly unstoppable force for good unless we shake off an old shadow that holds us back: how harsh we can be to one another.

Who among us hasn’t suffered the sting of a woman’s snarky comment or workplace sabotage? Or experienced the ickiness of mean-girl shunning or lie-spreading?

Women heap an avalanche of abuse, discrimination and incivility on one another, from the boardroom to athletic clubs. As I work on a book about this topic, I read about a woman who said the “cool” women in her yoga class often shunned her, made snide comments and even ridiculed her yoga clothes. Big, downward, sad-faced dog.

Come on, women! We deserve better than this. We are better than this.

There’s too much progress to be gained right now for women to regress into mean, middle-school girls — especially as the world’s girls watch and model our every move.

“There’s a Wonder Woman inside every one of us,” as Diane Von Furstenberg has said. Let’s unleash her this year—to better support one another. To help our sisters, from Africa to Asia, realize long-overdue healthcare, safe water, jobs, and literacy.

To lean into the toughest conflicts around the Earth. To stop turning against and fighting with each other.

We can’t afford to fall back into outdated, destructive ways: when we hold one woman back, we hold all women back. And when we empower and support each other, we all go big. The world is calling for us to go big!

Here are seven steps for unleashing your inner Wonder Woman:

1. Shine a light on the shadows. There isn’t a big enough rug in the world under which this secret can be swept. Whether you’re a mom’s group member or an HR director, begin to end this problem by having a candid and hopefully game-changing conversation about it. Granted, this is as about as fun as having a botched root canal. But, like healing any wound, once this “taboo” topic is aired and out in the open, real change can happen.

2. Live from your own incredible worth. Express your own brilliance — don’t block someone else’s. Be an amazing woman. Unleash her now. To do good. To raise the roof. To be kind. To change the world. Be a superstar yourself, and you won’t feel the need to tarnish another’s star. As Bindu, an Indian actress popular in the 1970s said, “Women who understand how powerful they are do not give into envy over meaningless things; instead they fight to maintain the beautiful bond of the sisterhood. These are the real women who know that we need each other’s love and support to survive in this world.”

3. Advocate for zero tolerance. Our workplaces, health, and economy are drained by something we’ve avoided, pretended doesn’t exist, or justified. From coffee groups to conference rooms, stop tolerating abusive talk and behavior among women. If you’re a manager or leader, enforce anti-bullying policies. Retrain or remove workplace bullies, both men and women. If you’re being bullied, document the abuse, report it, and be clear about how you want to be treated. If you witness bullying, don’t hide the truth to keep the peace. And if you’re a bully, seriously, why? Learn how to exercise real power to have authentic friendships and respectful colleagues, not ones that loathe your presence.

4. Be a Wonder Woman with your wise words. Kudos to Reese Witherspoon, who asked: “Why do we have to tear other woman down to build another woman up?” And to author Elizabeth Gilbert, who recently posted herself on Facebook holding up a note: “DEAR WOMEN – BE KIND TO OTHER WOMEN! LOVE, A WOMAN.” Look, of course, we don’t have to agree with every woman. But we can stop trash talking about women’s appearances, parenting, or successes. Gossiping and snarky talk can be addictive and pass the time in a boring day. But they’re destructive. Find a legit feel-good fix. Find new friends, if necessary. Find your integrity.

5. Tune out media that glorify mean-women pile-ons. Let’s all stop feeding the media that glorify women being mean to other women. Cheers for Jennifer Lawrence’s candor: “When I watch these shows and I watch these women on these television shows pointing to [other] women and judging them and calling them ugly and calling them fat — where are we from? Why are we here? Why are we doing this to each other? Men were doing it hundreds of years ago, and now we’ve turned around and we’re doing it to each other.”

6. Applaud a woman’s success. Some women I’ve interviewed say they’re scared to share their successes with other women for fear they’ll be bludgeoned with their own victories. That’s insane. Don’t hold a woman’s gifts against her. An anonymous person once said, “Jealously is when you count someone else’s blessings instead of your own.” If one woman soars, it doesn’t mean your wings are clipped, or that there’s limited air space. We all came here to fly—fly far!

7. Even Wonder Woman has to rest. These work harder/faster times can shred us, making it all too easy to turn on one another. Slow down, breathe, and nurture yourself, if only for 30 minutes. It’s soul-crushingly tough enough to get through some days. Do we have to make it harder by crushing each other’s dreams and dignity? When we’re more rested, it’s easier to give a big thumbs-up to a woman’s ideas at work. Or hold the door open for a mom struggling with a stroller. And cheer for a sister on fire with her creation, whether it’s a painting or a product.

Actress Lynda Carter, who played the original Wonder Woman, said, “Wonder Woman belongs to us all. She lives inside us. She’s the symbol of the extraordinary possibilities that inhabit us, hidden though they may be.

“Perhaps our real challenge in the 21st century is to strive to reach our potential while embracing her values. She sees the good in everyone, convinced they are capable of change, compassion, and generosity. She’s kindhearted and hopeful, and she has a great sense of humor.”

Can you hear my Wonder Woman cheering for yours?


CREDIT: Getty Images

The Secret to Living an Extraordinary Life

In the past, I’ve shared some profound wisdom that I have received from Tony Robbins including:

And while all of this wisdom has positively impacted my life in so many ways, there still once simple truth that Tony Robbins states so eloquently in Unshakeable:

The secret of living an extraordinary life is to take control of the mind, since this alone will determine whether you live in a suffering state or a beautiful state. In the end, it’s all about the power of decisions. Our lives are shaped not by our conditions, but by our decisions.”

This is truly profound when you unpack what he’s saying here. Author Viktor Frankl, in Man’s Search for Meaning explained it this way:

“We must never forget that we may also find meaning in life even when confronted with a hopeless situation, when facing a fate that cannot be changed. For what then matters is to bear witness to the uniquely human potential at its best, which is to transform a personal tragedy into a triumph, to turn one’s predicament into a human achievement. When we are no longer able to change a situation – just think of an incurable disease such as inoperable cancer – we are challenged to change ourselves.”

Turning a Personal Tragedy Into a Triumph

I was struck by both Tony Robbins and Viktor Frankl’s deep understanding of the meaning we give life’s events. The same event can mean so many things to so many people – even unspeakable tragedies such as what Viktor Frankl experienced in the Nazi concentration camps.

“What I’ve come to realize is that the single most important decision in life is this: Are you committed to being happy, no matter what happens to you?” asks Tony Robbins. “To put this another way, will you commit to enjoying life not only when everything goes your way but also when everything goes against you, when injustice happens, when someone screws you over, when you lose something or someone you love, or when nobody seems to understand or appreciation you?”

In his seminars, Tony Robbins uses Nelson Mandela as the shining example of this philosophy. Here’s a man that was in jail for more than a quarter century of his life. If someone wrongfully incarcerated you for 27 years, you’d have ever justification to be bitter, resentful, hateful and depressed. Instead, Nelson Mandela studied the language of his captors and planned how he would use his personal tragedy to bring global attention to apartheid and oppression everywhere. He rose above his personal tragedy and turned it into a triumph at a global scale.

Said another way, in life you have two choices: Better or Bitter. You can’t control what happens to you (or your business), but you can control how you feel and how you respond. In Unshakeable, Tony Robbins shares the secret of living an extraordinary life by showing you how to take control of your mind. What you focus on, you feel. And when it comes to financial stress, there is nothing quite like the extreme emotion most of us have experienced when a market crash occurs.

Living an extraordinary life is about ending the mental suffering you feel when events outside your control occur. Because, as Tony Robbins puts it, “life is just too short to suffer.”

Meet icons of entrepreneurship at this year’s iCONIC Tour in NYC and LA! Speakers include Daymond John, Arianna Huffington, and Michael Dubin. To learn more visit iconic.inc.com.
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The opinions expressed here by Inc.com columnists are their own, not those of Inc.com.
PUBLISHED ON: JUN 15, 2017

 

YOUR CUP IS DEEP AND IT IS BOUNDLESS

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