Category Archives: Self Development

LET’S BE CLEAR

When something or someone doesn’t work out the way we planned or hoped them to be, or even just not sure of the next step, doesn’t mean defeat, most likely that thing or that person deterred or re-routed the path you were on, and along the way that experience gave you exactly what you needed,  and now that your back you see exactly what you have learned, how you have changed or not, what you can or cannot, and who you are or are not. So no you weren’t defeated but more knowledgeable, closer to being sure of yourself that thing or whomever, knowing now the difference between defeat vs. deterred. I’ve learned that it can be really simple or we make it extremely difficult and it still doesn’t change the simplicity of the thing is truly what it is, that person is truly what they are, but the experience is always a profound asset to the collection of your experiences that constructs your life. So how can that be a failure or defeat, we gain all along believing we were failing or defeated, it’s simply not true.

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Personal And Public

I want to share with you guys something that made me think, and it is actually calling me to act, Does Your Public Self Line Up With Your Personal Self, (Devon Franklin). Now you know what this means, it means do you honor yourself internally and personally the way you perform or conduct your self publicly, and I have to admit I can do a lot better. I believe when these two acts line up together you are at peace, and there is nothing to hide or nothing to fabricate, you are just who you say you are. I do believe you have to hit a level of maturity and to figure out if you want the world to know you are to know what you want them to know, there is a difference and I guess you have to begin with knowing yourself and who you are most of all what can you offer of yourself in service to others. I know I have some work to do but I learn something today, and when you learn you teach Maya Angelou,

WHO IS IT THAT YOU SAY YOU ARE?

You are who you say you are, You are who you think you are, and who is that you say you are?

Angela Davis.

These words have become a mantra, It is simply a call to show up to and in your life, It can’t be misunderstood or misinterpreted, its a conversation we already have with ourselves but for many reasons, it’s dismissed. This is one of the most important conversation we need to have, not only  the question but what is your answer, and  what are you doing with it, are we answering that question and then not doing anything , or are we answering and not happy with the response in turn pretending we haven’t a clue, “tell me whats happening” because nothing will ever change until we have the answer and then do something to reflect it. We allow other people to tell us who we are or should be, what we want or will have,  what we do and have done, most importantly what you will do. Now if you think the questions will ever change and you won’t be called upon your mistaken, now what can change is how many times you ask yourself and boldly answer with authority and purpose. You are who you say you are, You are who you think you are, Who is it that you say you are?

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Choices are Power

In a state of chronic sufferance, there are little to no choices, a prayer is quickly converted to a plea, a life of limitations and ignorance is an imprisonment and this is what we do to ourselves,  a life without choices is a life not worth living at all. When we are blessed with choices you hold the power to change your state of being to a positive and unfamiliar but liberating experience, but we have to make the choice that frees us one choice at a time. It is so important to know what we want because then we know what to ask for, there is power in having a choice because that one choice turns into an opportunity that can change your life. Search your heart and soul and ask what it wants from you and then choose to just do it, give yourself the choice and then create the opportunity to use it. Whatever it looks like do things to bring it forward in your life and it won’t be pretty in the beginning but the actions you take will groom it and create a beautiful opportunity, and what’s makes it beautiful is it’s just for you, take it and understand that it is your power.

Emotions

  • It really is mind over matter, motivation needs to be activated by being emotional attached and excited to the aspect of your ideas your goals. When you really are clear about what your goal is or what you want to do in your life you have to see it  and imagine how it will feel, get your emotions involved so the motivation center is activated to thrust you to action.

Raw Cube

 

images (92)Welcome Welcome, I have to tell you this is a hard place but it has to start here, I remember this place, It was so unkind and merciless but The raw truth was what I needed to understand where I was, I was uncomfortable in the skin I was in, Fist this will only happen if one thing happens, enlightenment has had to already happen because otherwise you would still be wrapped up in your pretty packages or in your cloud of unawareness, believing you have gotten everything you can from this life and contented. Let me just share something with you about those packages you’re wrapped up in and force yourself to believe you’re fine because it looks good on the outside, and that’s how you hide from the world and anything that is going to challenge you to wiggle around and feel something. the packages are worst because you will never get what you need, you will not grow and that package is not preserving you, you are still rotting from the inside out just like the rest of us that have checked out of the race, but you’re not even breathing the fresh air, the wrappers are not going  to remove themselves they will never give you room to breathe, this is where you ripped those wrappers off and join us out here in the world, where it is difficult, and it’s unfair and you may have to feel a little bit, but you have to give yourself this chance.There is power in confronting your fears, disarming and neutralizing what has caused unproductivity leaves that thing ineffective, drawing it out of the corners of your existence and facing it head-on gives you back the power it has held over you.

There are things you know it’s time to let go and forgive some people you never thought you could and listen it’s not about them it’s about you powering up. The old habits people places and things have to take a back seat, and if it or they are not worthy then they can’t even get in the car, but the things that have kept you bound have to be replaced with the things that help free you. So listen’ it’s you, and you have to throw yourself in unknown territory, things, and people that are not like you, where you can learn how to not be what you’re escaping. When I was at this point I was so desperate, I was choking on my tears, the air I was breathing was killing me, I knew my time was up doing the things I did and the way I did them, I knew it but I didn’t know how to change it, I was clawing my way out of the hole I lived in for so long but there were no how-tos, I needed somebody right there supporting me guiding me through the dark, so I am here to support you in that way. There is power in confronting your fears, disarming and neutralizing what has caused unproductivity leaves that thing ineffective, drawing it out of the corners of your existence and facing it head-on gives you back the power it has held over you.I can’t do this without you, please let me support you…I love you and I need you to show me how to be greatly free.

Self-development is key, Hers are some things you can try doing that help me connect with myself, Lisa Nichols offered this suggestion in one of her motivational videos, and I loved it.

get a piece of paper and write these things down and put it on your bathroom mirror so you see it every morning, and you won’t forget to start your day with his practice;

  1.  Your Name, I’m proud that you (7 things)
  2. Your Name, I forgive you for (7 things)
  3.  Your Name, I commit to that (7 things)                                                                                                                                                                             (From Lisa Nichols)images (92)

 


7 Ways to Make Life Changing Decisions

Hulbert Lee writes about the rising stories of influential people. Full Bio

Most people don’t know the profound effects of making decisions. Often times, we go through life oblivious to what thoughts we are thinking and what actions we are taking. Every single decision we make in our days shapes our current reality. It shapes who we are as a person because we habitually follow through with the decisions we make without even realizing it.

If you’re unhappy with the results in your life right now, making the effort to changing your decisions starting today will be the key to creating the person you want to be and the life you want to have in the future. Let’s talk about a few ways you can go about making life changing decisions.

1. Realize the power of decision making.

Before you start making a decision, you have to understand what a decision does. Any decision that you make causes a chain of events to happen. When you decide to pick up a cigarette to smoke it, that decision might result in you picking up another one later on to get that same high feeling. After a day, you may have gone through a pack without knowing it. But if you decide not to smoke that first cigarette and make a decision every five minutes to focus your attention somewhere else when you get that craving, after doing this for a week, your cravings will eventually subside and you will become smoke-free. But it comes down to making that very first decision of deciding whether or not to pick up that cigarette.

2. Go with your gut.

Often times, we take too much time to make a decision because we’re afraid of what’s going to happen. As a result of this, we go through things like careful planning, deep analysis, and pros and cons before deciding. This is a very time-consuming process. Instead, learn to trust your gut instinct. For the most part, your first instinct is usually the one that is correct or the one that you truly wanted to go with. Even if you end up making a mistake, going with your gut still makes you a more confident decision maker compared to someone who takes all day to decide.

3. Carry your decision out.

When you make a decision, act on it. Commit to making a real decision. What’s a real decision? It’s when you decide on something, and that decision is carried out through action. It’s pointless to make a decision and have it played out in your head, but not doing anything about it. That’s the same as not making a decision at all. If you want to make real changes in life, you have to make it a habit to apply action with your decision until it’s completed. By going through this so many times, you will feel more confident with accomplishing the next decision that you have in mind.

4. Tell others about your decisions.

There’s something about telling other people what we’re going to do that makes us follow through. For example, for the longest time I’ve been trying to become an early riser and whenever I tried to use my own will power, waking up early without falling back asleep felt impossible. So what I did was I went to a forum and made the decision to tell people that I would wake up at 6 AM and stay up. Within two days, I was able to accomplish doing this because I felt a moral obligation to follow through with my words even though I failed the first time. Did people care? Probably not, but just the fact that there might be someone else out there seeing if you’re telling the truth will give you enough motivation to following through with your decision.

5. Learn from your past decisions.

Even after I failed to follow through my decision the first time when I told people I was going to wake up early and stay up, I didn’t give up. I basically asked myself, “What can I do this time to make it work tomorrow? The truth is you are going to mess up at times when it comes to making decisions and instead of beating yourself up over it, learn something from it. Ask yourself, what was good about the decision I made? What was bad about it? What can I learn from it so I can make a better decision next time? Remember, don’t put so much emphasis focusing on short term effects; instead, focus on the long-term effects.

6. Maintain a flexible approach.

I know this might sound counter-intuitive, but making a decision doesn’t mean that you can’t be open to other options. For example, let’s say you made the decision to lose ten pounds by next month through cardio. If something comes up, you don’t have to just do cardio. You can be open to losing weight through different methods of dieting as long as it helps you reach your goal in the end. Don’t be stubborn to seek out only one way of making a decision. Embrace any new knowledge that brings you closer to accomplishing your initial decision.

7. Have fun making decisions.

Finally, enjoy the process. I know decision-making might not be the most fun thing world to do, but when you do it often, it becomes a game of opportunity. You’ll learn a lot about yourself on the way, you’ll feel and become a lot more confident when you’re with yourself and around others, and making decisions will just become a lot easier after you do it so often that you won’t even think about it.

Anything you decide to do from this point on can have a profound effect later on. Opportunities are always waiting for you. Examine the decisions that you currently have in the day. Are there any that can be changed to improve your life in some way? Are there any decisions that you can make today that can create a better tomorrow?

Image: James Jordan

How Do You Measure Your Self-Worth?

I write about the psychological aspects of business.

If you were going to install new flooring in your home, would you determine how much material to order by measuring the size of the room with a random stick? Probably not. Hopefully, you’d use a tape measure that would accurately help you calculate the dimensions. Yet, when it comes to measuring self-worth, many people use something just as unreliable as a random stick.

We all have some sort of measuring stick that we use to determine our value as a human being. When we feel like we’re measuring up, we feel good about ourselves. But, when we feel like we’ve fallen short, our self-esteem can plummet.

Despite the fact that our measuring stick has so much influence over how we feel about ourselves, most people aren’t even conscious of what they’re using to determine their self-worth. But they are conscious of the fluctuations they experience in how they feel about themselves.

There are many different ways people measure their worthiness, and some of them aren’t healthy. Here are five common – yet potentially hazardous – ways people measure their self-worth:

1. Who You’re Surrounded By

There are a few different ways that people depend on others to give them value. While one person may think her worth depends on how much praise she receives from others, someone else may only feel good about herself when she’s in a relationship.

At other times, individuals feel worthy by surrounding themselves with important people. Rubbing shoulders with rich celebrities or “movers and shakers,” fuels their self-importance. A busy social calendar and a lengthy list of personal contacts helps them feel valuable.

Making your self-worth dependent upon others, however, is like chasing a moving target. You can’t control other people and you can’t please everyone all the time. If you base your self-worth entirely upon how others perceive you, you’ll never be able to receive enough praise or positive reinforcement to feel good about yourself.

2. What You Do

A career helps many people feel valued. Some people are quick to say something like, “I’m the co-founder of XYZ company,” or “I’m a lawyer,” not because it’s what they do – but because it’s who they are. Their career reinforces to them that they’re “somebody.”

Basing your self-worth on your job title is a big risk. A health problem, economic downturn, or unexpected shift in the job market may interfere with your career and lead to a major identity crisis. Even a planned retirement could wreak havoc on your self-worth if your identity is tied to your job title. In the absence of a high profile career, you won’t be able to feel good about yourself if you’ve always measured your self-worth by what you do.

3. How Much Money You Have

We’ve all met people who measure their self-worth by the size of their bank accounts. Sometimes people feel like they just can’t acquire enough wealth to be “valuable enough.” In a desperate attempt to prove their worth, they create a façade of wealth by going deeply into debt in hopes a luxury car or beautiful home will help them feel good about themselves.

While it makes sense to place a monetary value on goods and services, it doesn’t make sense to use money to determine your value as a human being. The amount of money you earn or expensive possessions you own will never be enough to satisfy your need to feel worthy.

4. What You Achieve

Sometimes people want to be known solely for their accomplishments. That person who always brags about her latest business venture may only feel good about herself when she is talking about her accomplishments. Or that person who just can’t stop beating himself up about that time that he failed, might struggle to move on because that one incident completely crushed his self-worth.

While it’s normal for your accomplishments to make you feel good, basing your entire self-worth on your achievements is like building your house on an unsteady foundation. You’ll need to experience repeated success in order to feel good about yourself – and that’s hard to maintain over the long-haul.

When your entire self-worth depends on your achievements, you’ll avoid doing things where you could fail.

5. How You Look

While some people measure their self-worth by the numbers on a scale, others determine their value based on their ability to attract attention with their appearance. The media certainly fuels the notion that “you’re only as good as you look.” Marketing strategies frequently target our insecurities about everything from aging to weight gain.

If you were fortunate enough to be blessed with good looks, your beauty may serve as an advantage in life. But, a handsome face or a beautiful body won’t last forever. Wrinkles, a middle-age spread, gray hair, or a receding hairline can become catastrophic for anyone whose self-worth depends on their physical appearance.

Feeling Good About Who You Are

The way you choose to measure your worth as a person will serve as a major factor in the choices you make, the thoughts you have about life, and the way you feel about yourself. Know what measuring stick you’re using to determine your value and measure your self-worth based on the factors you can control – not the external events in your life.

When you know who you are – and you’re pleased with the person you’ve become – you’ll maintain a sense of peace throughout life’s inevitable ups and downs. Rather than experience major fluctuations in how you feel about yourself based on your latest success or most recent failure, you’ll believe in yourself regardless.

Measure your self-worth by who you are at your core. Doing so will help you focus on behaving according to your values, instead of chasing the things that will temporarily boost your self-esteem.

Amy Morin is a psychotherapist and the author of 13 Things Mentally Strong People Don’t Do.

 

Genuinely

Pure humanity and love is such an amazing element of healing. The display of love soothes the soul and the chain reaction produces phenomenal gifts and serves abundantly.

YOUR CUP IS DEEP AND IT IS BOUNDLESS

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